Dropped off in the middle of the night on a strange bed when I was a little girl, I struggled with sickness, sadness, loneliness, and panic.

 

Never feeling wanted.

 

Wondering whether anyone loved me.

 

Always wanting to be someone else or be doing something else.

 

Never fully satisfied.

 

I made wrong decisions that led to emptiness and depression. I ran away from things that seemed too difficult to handle. I constantly busied myself with activities, missions, parties, shopping, and relationships that weren’t healthy.

 

Which led me to feeling dirty. Like Garbage!!

 

Unwanted Baggage!

​

I took baths constantly and collected soap.

 

I was WEARING an UNSEEN MASK of lies!

 

I was trying to hide what I was going through. But I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t even sure why. I had suppressed so many things to the point of not realizing the effect. Some things I truly didn’t even remember because it had become easy to forget.

 

I made excuses and even believed my own lies. I didn’t know I wasn’t being truthful, which hurt others in the process.

 

I had separation anxiety.

 

Which caused me to be extremely needy.

​

I hated to be alone. Hated it!

​

Panic would set in at that point!

​

Where are they? How come they aren’t here? The ones that are supposed to love me

It would become a whirlwind of out-of-control emotions.

Then, after visiting and working in an orphanage in Kenya, Africa, for seven years, I found myself in the worst position ever. I became strangely, deeply afraid—unable to move out of bed and filled with tremendous guilt and shame.

As memories began to flood my mind and dreams at night of my own forgotten abandonment and trauma as a little girl, it became too much to bear. The voice in my head was confusing, condemning, and caused fear to control me.

 

Little did I know that God, the Father, was beginning a journey of healing for me. After learning to hear His voice over the sound of the past trauma, I now live a life of Freedom. Now I am walking and living in Victory. Free from the old sounds in my mind and full of the love the Father has given me.

"It's about Him, not Kim"

                                                             - God